


Green and Gold

by Wallnut



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, NSFW, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 19:26:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16750168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallnut/pseuds/Wallnut
Summary: Most days Saix pushed Axel away. This time, he didn’t.





	Green and Gold

As time passed, Saix became more withdrawn. He almost felt free being in the Organization. Isa had spent his entire life running from his feelings—laughter, pain, love—to avoid being hurt, and now he didn’t have to feel a thing. It would have left him with a sense of relief, if he had a heart to feel it.

Axel thought Xemnas was full of bullshit. If the Nobodies really were heartless, how could he laugh every time Xigbar was so obviously jealous by how Xemnas preferred Saix over him? How could he feel his chest clench every time Saix passed Axel by with nothing but a glance of acknowledgement? Nobodies weren’t supposed to feel, but the ache in his gut said otherwise.

Nights in the castle were silent. The Dusks were sent off to other worlds so only the members of the Organization remained.  There was no strict rule that they weren’t allowed to visit each other at night, but something about the way Xemnas treated them made the idea unwelcome.  Axel’s room was one corridor away from Saix’s. Since they had joined the Organization he’d only been there a handful of times. The first was the day that they became Nobodies. Axel had reveled in the way he could summon his chakrams, and Saix was at a loss. He had a claymore, but he had no home and no heart. Axel had tried to kiss him, a habit that was a remnant of Lea’s, but Saix had pushed him away.  Lea thought his heart should ache, but all he could feel was emptiness burning a hole in his chest. It occurred to Axel then, that Lea and Isa were no more, and Axel and Saix were strangers.

The second time Axel had been in Saix’s room, Saix had asked him to come. After the initial realization had worn off that their old lives were gone, Saix had decided to scheme with Axel against whatever Xemnas was planning for. He had nothing left to lose. That night had almost made them feel like Isa and Lea again, plotting another absurd adventure. Axel had leaned in close to him, and Saix didn’t hesitate when they kissed.

Axel knew Saix wanted nothing more than to have his heart back. Axel didn’t care much, either way. His old life hadn’t had much of a purpose. He only knew he wanted to be with Isa, to make stupid jokes and eat ice cream together. He almost couldn’t understand why their lives couldn’t be the same now. With Xemnas out of the picture they could easily do what they wanted. One thing Axel regretted, was how Saix had become even harder-headed than Isa. His goal was set and there was no changing it. Most days Saix pushed him away. The third time Axel had gone to Saix’s room, he didn’t.

Saix’s eyes were fluctuating between green and gold. They were green when Axel had entered the room.  There weren’t any mirrors in The Castle That Never Was, but when the walls were clean they reflected almost as well as one. Saix was staring blankly at the wall when he heard Axel come in. Saix didn’t know his eyes were shifting color. Axel had told him after he had come back from meeting with Xemnas and Saix’s eyes had been a brilliant gold. Saix didn’t look, but he could feel Axel’s heat as he walked up and stood behind him. Saix turned around and Axel’s breath hitched.

“You look like _you_ ,” was the only thing Axel managed to say.

And he wasn’t really sure how it happened, but Saix had found himself underneath Axel on the stiff bed of his room, his shirt bunched up against the headboard, and Axel’s mouth pressed warm and firm against his, tongue tracing circles on his lips. Memories danced at the edge of his consciousness. Isa had done this before, but Saix hadn’t. His hands hesitated around the tight muscle of Axel’s deltoids, and it left Axel wanting. Axel pressed himself down onto Saix’s frame, asking for more. Isa would have responded with something sarcastic, but Saix was silent and restrained. His body wanted to react but his heart—lack of heart—made everything seem mechanical. Axel broke away from him then and Saix felt the lack of pressure like a ghost limb. Almost automatically his hands ran down Axel’s bare back and pressed him close again.  Axel made a noise, and his mouth was on Saix’s neck, his red hair tickling Saix’s chin. Saix could hear the raggedness in his own breath. When he closed his eyes he could almost pretend they were Isa and Lea again.

 He wondered what color his eyes would be when he opened them.

Axel’s hand hovered around the waistband of Saix’s pants and he pulled away again, his gaze lowered to an unremarkable spot on Saix’s chest. Saix saw Axel’s uncertainty and he reached around Axel’s torso and turned them so they were facing each other sideways. He kissed Axel, rolling his hips into the outstretched palm of his hand. Axel pulled away from the kiss and reached his hand down Saix’s hips, between his thighs.

 Almost groaning, Axel whispered, “Look at me.”  

Saix opened his eyes, and sea green darkened with desire stared back at Axel. Axel’s skin flushed and he began to stroke between Saix’s legs. Saix shuddered. Axel’s skin felt hot against his. His breath came out in shallow gasps and his grip was tight on Axel’s bony shoulders. Axel lowered himself, trailing butterfly kisses down Saix’s torso, his hands slipping Saix’s pants down his legs till they were pooled at his ankles. Saix was hard, and he looked no different than the Isa that Axel remembered. When Axel put his mouth around him, it felt the same, too. Saix could hardly open his eyes. If he could close them long enough maybe he would open them to find himself back in Radiant Garden, with Xemnas, The World that Never Was, and the Nobodies being all a bad dream.  

He could feel Axel’s tongue make lingering strokes against him and it was pure agony.

Axel could feel Saix stiffen and he withdrew, knowing what would happen next. Saix gave miserable groan, and he came carelessly into Axel’s hand. Axel looked up at him. Saix had his arm draped over his eyes, his breath coming out in jagged rasps. Axel carefully repositioned himself so he was shoulder to shoulder with Saix again.

“Isa?” he whispered.

Saix lowered his arm and was ready to correct him, a habit he had formed in their first days as Nobodies, but the tenderness in Axel’s expression cut him short. Maybe if he pretended long enough, he could feel something again. He pressed himself closer to Axel, and breathed “Lea” against his mouth before kissing him again, explaining all the things he could never seem to say with words.

They both knew Axel couldn’t stay in his room the entire night. They hardly spoke. There would be another time for discussion; another night to decide how they would overthrow Xemnas and get their hearts back. Axel didn’t look back when he left the room, but his walk out the door was slow and deliberate. In the darkness of Saix’s empty room, he almost felt afraid to close his eyes. He had seen them once more after Axel had left. They were still green, the color of sea foam.

It was the last day they were.   

**Author's Note:**

> Some loose headcanons about Saix's eyes in this one. Also, I always pictured Isa and Lea losing their hearts when they were about 17/18ish (even though it's probably nottttt canon) so they'd be about the same ages here. Early Organization days. I've always been really hesitant about writing something a bit more sexual but I tried my best keeping it spicy without being cheesy/gross so I hope it turned out ok!!


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